Saying Goodbye
by Curved Silence of Ishtar
Summary: Dealing with life is hard enough, but when you being illness into the mix, you never know what to expect. This is going to be a dark one, so please don't read it if you want warm fuzziness. There is not going to be a lot of that here. I have not written in a very long time, so please bear with me as I remember how to do this... Rating for cursing and dark subject matter.
1. Chapter 1

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 1

It had been nearly a year. Your life had finally been going well. You had moved out of Toriel's house and you had a job that while not the best thing you had ever done, was tolerable and paid well enough for you to live on your own without having to worry too very much.

A year. A year of peace.

One year of fun and happiness and friends finally not treating you like you were made of glass. You were not looking forward to the next few days. The first time that you and Toriel had to break the news to everybody had been hard enough, but this... relapse would be worse. As far as any of your monster friends knew, you were better. That was how a lot of other illnesses worked, so it stood to logic that the disease that had tried it's best to part you from them was also a thing of the past.

You stood in front of your apartment door, suddenly feeling lost. Everything felt so wrong now, and without even touching the knob, you turned on your heel and started to walk toward the home you had shared with your monster parents for 13 years. They needed to be the first ones to hear the news, but more than that, you needed them. The child that lived on in your heart cried for it's mommy and daddy as you broke into a run. You knew you would not be able to keep pace for long before the pain would force you to stop and call for a ride, but you felt that with this brief burst of activity, maybe you could forget.

…...

Toriel looked up from her book when the phone rang. She had been anxious all week, with today being the worst. Nothing in particular that she could put her finger on, but was so close to what she felt when Asriel had taken his beloved Chara to the surface that she could not shake it.

The phone rang again, pulling her from her mind and reached out to lift it to her head. She knew who it was already.

"My child, what's going on? Why are you not at work?"

She heard gasping and a cough, then you cleared your throat and started to explain your location and need of a ride to the house. She listened as she gathered her purse and cardigan, jotting a quick note to Asgore and taping it to the door as she padded down the porch steps. She knew that you needed her, and soon. The early spring air was chilly, and the sky threatened rain, so she decided that taking the car would be the best course of action.

"I am on my way now. I want you to go inside before it starts to rain"

"Okay mom. Thank you. Is dad around yet?"

Toriel turned onto the mostly empty street and headed toward downtown, her eyes scanning the street for her child.

"He is not. Where did you say you were, again?"

"I'm at Muffet's bakery. I will watch for you, okay?"

"Alright. I will see you soon."

"Hey mom?"

Something in your tone sent Toriel's maternal alarms off, but she kept her tone even and cheerful.

"yes, my child?"

"I love you."

She frowned slightly at the words. She knew you were a creature who did not always display affection in physical or verbal ways, preferring to let your actions speak for you as your small hands once had.

"I love you too, darling."

When you hung up, Toriel sighed. The tightness in her chest was back, and now she was certain that something was wrong. Something that you needed to tell her and Asgore alone, at their home. At a stop sign she closed her eyes for a moment and sent a silent plea to any higher power that may listen that it was nothing, that she was overreacting, that you had done something silly like overspent and needed money for food until your next check came through...

But nothing answered, and she continued to drive.


	2. Chapter 2

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 2

You waited, somehow, until Asgore returned home to break the news. Sitting with Toriel, listening to stories of the children that she watched for her neighbors, you felt like you were a kid again. She had said nothing when you reached for painkillers and groaned as you sat down, but you saw the change in her eyes and posture. She said nothing, but when you looked into her eyes, you knew that she knew, deep down.

Sitting between the two huge furry monsters always made you feel small, but today it made you feel even smaller. The air was heavy with words that you did not want to say, but had to. Your father, bless him, cleared his throat and excused himself to make tea for the three of you, giving you some time to collect your thoughts. As you listened to him moving about the kitchen, you smiled. These wonderful, gentle people who took in an unloved and unwanted child, giving them a loving home and family...

They didn't deserve this... Not after... Not after...

Asgore came in, three mugs in his paw-like hands. He handed you the smallest one and sat down again, giving you a concerned smile.

"Now, what is troubling you, child?"

You looked down at the tea, your eyes not seeming to suddenly be made of lead and unable to roll back up to look at your parents. You take a sip of the hot tea, not caring about the burn that your tongue suffered, hoping to wash the taste of the words you had to say back down your throat.

"It's back. It came back. Mom, I didn't want to tell anybody, but... I went to the doctor like you told me to when the pain in my hip didn't go away."

You watched as Asgore's face fell, and Toriel's eyes filled with tears. She didn't say a word when your father set his tea down and pull you into his lap and wrapped his arms around you, as though his mere presence would make your body behave itself again. She scooted over to you two and wrapped herself around you both, her breath shaky.

"What did he say, child? What exactly did he say?"

You felt your control slipping, and you hiccuped out a sob. This was so wrong, you should not be breaking down, you had to be the one who was not touched by this. You had to be the sunlight on the rainy day...

But you couldn't. Your tears fell and mixed with theirs on your clothes, sobbing out your fear and sudden disgust at the body that had betrayed you. You told them that the doctor had done several tests and found that this time, it was not your bones alone. This time, the machines that scanned your insides had spotted something else that was still small, barely the size of a pea, but warned of a potential oncoming threat standing at the edge of your liver.

You screamed and cried and raged, you howled over how unfair it all was that you should have to do this again. You hated your body, you hated your disease-ridden flesh, and you hated yourself most of all, for having to put your beloved family and friends through it all over again.

After your tea had long gone cold and the sky had grown dark, you looked up at your parents with swollen eyes and told them you were tired, you just wanted to sleep. Asgore nodded and released you from his hold, only to lift you again when your stiff joints made you gasp in sudden pain. You manage to force a smile and tell him you are just stiff from sitting in the same position for too long, and he lets you walk upstairs to your old room by yourself.

You are not surprised later when Toriel crawls into the bed with you. When you were sick, she always slept with you. You snuggled down into her soft form and sighed, feeling some comfort that only a mother could give.

"What do you want to do tomorrow, my child? You know that you need to tell the others..."

You nod. You would tell them, in small groups, starting tomorrow.

"I know, mom. I don't know how I am going to tell-"

"I will be with you. He will be distressed. You both will need somebody there to help you make a plan."

You smile. Mom plans always helped. She would help her set up treatments and scheduling and when you got too tired and weak, she would do for you what you might not be able to do for yourself. Just like last time...

"He's going to ditch me. This is going to be too much, he won't be able to handle it..."

Toriel shushed you and smoothed your hair, waiting for you to quiet before speaking again.

"He didn't last time, and this time will be no different."

You hoped she was right.


	3. Chapter 3

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 3

Your eyes popped open at the sound of the front door being knocked on. Your eyes scanned the room and you remembered where you were. Safe, in your old bed tucked into your mother's arms. The clock read midnight, and you wondered who in the world would be coming to call on your parents so late at night... Listening to the voices downstairs, you felt your stomach sink like a stone.

Sans.

How long had he been looking for you? What had to have been going through his mind as his calls were answered by your voice asking callers to leave a message and you would call back? Carefully removing yourself from Toriel's warm arms, you slid off the bed and sighed. You were sore, but you could handle it. You were always sore anymore. Right now, there was a much bigger issue.

You slowly open your door and pause near the top of the stairs and listen to your father and Sans talking.

"They've been here almost all day. I'm sorry, I thought that she would have called you..."

You could hear the shake in the skeleton's words as he answered, a soft tapping keeping time with his rapid pacing.

"They didn't though. I got home and it was dark. I thought that they were asleep, so I went to check on Papyrus and he was curled up with a book and sleeping. Then I go to our room and nothing! No note, no calls, no nothing! Like they had just fallen off the goddamned planet!"

You let out the breath you had been holding. You hated that you had caused him such distress. Poor Papyrus was probably only asleep because he had been too tired to stay awake anymore, but had more than likely been worried sick when she did not show up for dinner and then was not there for their reading time. She usually read with him at night anymore, with Sans' work keeping him away usually at least an hour after Papyrus went to bed. She liked the time with the tall skeleton though, even though being around him meant that any activity would cause you aches later.

You stepped onto the stairs and cleared your throat, looking guiltily at the pair through your bangs. Sans was standing facing away from you, but spun at the sound, his left eye flaring for a moment before returning to the point of white light that it usually was. The look on his face was painful to look at, a combonation of relief and confusion that was very swiftly replaced with anger. You said nothing, because you knew he had every reason and every right to be angry with you.

Asgore watched you as you descended the stairs, saying nothing before excusing himself to the bedroom you had just vacated. You knew he was going to wake Toriel, because she was going to be needed, but also that he would keep her away from the two of you until you gave the all clear.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him, but Sans held up a hand, the bones jittering about as he shook with his restrained anger. You say nothing as he inhaled slowly before speaking in a tone that reminded you of how most people spoke to misbehaving teenagers.

"There was no note. You were just gone. What the hell is wrong with your head?!"

He had picked up that last line from you. You would smile if the situation was not so dire. You held off on saying anything, better to let him burn some of this off before he learned anything. Either he would yell and burn himself out, or he would figure it out on his own as he was yelling and would stop. Either way, it would end the same way.

"Do you have any idea," his voice picking up volume now, but still hushed as he tried to keep your parents from hearing what was going on. He knew that he was right, but he knew that Toriel and Asgore would not take well to a full blown shouting match in their home. "what it feels like to come home to nothing? Because I do, and let me tell you, it fucking sucks. I called you for three hours! Three goddamn hours, Frisk! Not once did you think that maybe you should look at your phone?! I was calling people panicking because nobody knew where you were! Nobody had even SEEN you! You could have been DEAD for all I knew, and I would not even have a way to know where to start looking and I just... Don't... Don't DO that to me, kid..."

There was your opening. You stepped toward him and took a breath, willing yourself to be tough, to be the one who was not going to cry this time. You wordlessly beckoned for him to follow you and walked back into the bedroom where Asgore and Toriel were waiting, knowing that they would help you break the news to him. Your heart starting to break again. He had been watching over you for the last month or so, adding his voice to Toriel's for you to go get checked out for the aching in your hips and lower back.

Toriel was sitting at the foot of the bed with Asgore, talking quietly as you opened the door. When you entered, they fell silent and simply watched as you pulled Sans inside and stood before them, motionless. You watched his face as the skeleton looked at your parents, then you, then back and forth a few more times, his eyes slowly darkening as some silent understanding came over him.

"What is this about? What happened today? Did... Did you go to the... like you..."

His voice was cracking and he was staring right at you, his eyes searching your face for something that would let him think that he was wrong. He had to be wrong. You had been better, you were putting your weight back on, moving quickly, dancing again...

"But you were..."

You shook your head.

"That isn't how it works sometimes, Sans. It comes back for some. I didn't want to call you at work so I came here and I lost track of time..."

He sat down hard, you flinched at the sound of his hip bones smacking against the hardwood floor, but he didn't see to notice if it hurt at all. When he looked up at you, your heart broke at the pitiful lost look on his face. Your father stood and held you to his chest, which you were thankful for, as tears had begun to form and you had been determined not to let him see. Toriel crossed the room to the sitting skeleton, pulling him up to his feet and hugging him as tightly as Asgore held you. A silent affirmation from the two elder monsters.

We will get through this.


	4. Chapter 4

Saying goodbye

Chapter 4

Later, you and Sans lay in the bed together, facing each other in the dark. Only you were sleeping. He watched you sleep, afraid to wake you. He remembered the things that had blurred in your own mind. Days where pain was the only thing that you could feel, and nobody could understand you through the haze that it put over your mind. Those were the days that were the hardest on everybody, but you never knew how hard it had been on him.

…...

 _Sans paced in the living room of the apartment you shared, trying to keep quiet as he called his brother to tell him that he was going to have to cancel the plans that they had made. You were in no condition to have company, much less go out to dinner. He knew Papyrus and the others would be upset, but he knew that they would understand. He just had to find the best way to tell them, without actually telling them how bad it was today._

 _He glanced quickly toward the bedroom when he heard you groan. He knew he would not have long before you woke up and the screaming would start again. He was so tired, so godawful tired..._

 _Another groan sounded and began to build up in volume. Dropping the phone, he hurried into the bedroom and looked in. He watched as you tried to sit up, only to cry out and fall back onto the pillows and sob before trying again. You caught sight of him and shouted, spit flying out of your mouth as you raged against the pain that was wracking you._

 _"The fuck are you staring at?!"_

 _He knew you were not the one talking._

 _"-Can't fucking move without-"_

 _This isn't you._

 _"You useless fucker, why are you not helping me?!"_

 _You don't mean the things you say when this happens..._

 _He hurried over to you and tried to help you shift into a better position, only to be screamed at and cursed as the slightest motion brought you into new waves of pain that no amount of morphine or haldol could touch. The gutteral noises that you made did not deter him. He continued to move you as gently as possible until you were in a mostly upright position, then arranged the blanket around your hips, moving out of the way when your hands, once long and tapering but now reduced to boney claws, swiped at him._

 _"Please, sweetheart, you have to be still. Be still so you can get some rest... Come on, you haven't slept at all, just... Just sleep, please?"_

 _With the ease of practice, he lifted a bucket under your chin as your color went grey. He held your shoulders as you vomited your agony. He listened to your whine as your bowels let go in a liquid gush and did not say a word as you cursed more and continued to dry heave. He talked quietly as he cleaned you, trying to soothe and calm you from your pain and embarassment, though he knew you would not remember this tomorrow. He knew you hated the loss of dignity that came with this, and you would never forgive yourself the sleepless days and added responsibility that you placed on him and the others..._

 _But he did not mind. The words you said hurt, they always did, but he also knew that when you were like this, you couldn't be blamed. He just had to make sure-_

 _There was a knock on the door._

 _Sans jumped at the sound and quickly bundled up the dirty sheets and clothes before throwing them into the hamper. He would wash them shortly. With a glance your way as he walked out of the room, sleep overcoming you again as your painkiller cocktail took effect. The knock came again and he teleported to the door, opening it carefully and sticking his head out._

 _There, in the bright June sunshine, stood Papyrus, Alphys and Undyne. Oh good lord, he had forgotten to call them..._

 _"BROTH-"_

 _"Shh!"_

 _Sans stepped out the door and closed it quickly, praying that you had not heard Papyrus. He held his breath and listened for a moment before turning to the others, a guilty look on his face as he took in the nice clothes and the oversized bag that Alphys carried. Inside he knew she had stashed candies of every flavor and variety, as was tradition for going to a theatre after you had introduced her to what you called "Movie Smuggling"_

 _"I-is everything a-alright, Sans?"_

 _He ran his hand over his face, tapping the ends of his fingers against his teeth. The sound of bone tapping on bone sounded for a few seconds before he answered._

 _"Sure, Alphys. I was going to call you guys. Today, ah-"_

 _He winced when he heard the screaming start again. Why could you not sleep, just for an hour? He covered his face with his hands and waited for the questions. Undyne looked at the door, her brow furrowed. Alphys' hands twisted the straps of her bag and she tried to look anywhere but Sans and the door. Papyrus covered his mouth and reached for his brother._

 _"Sans, is everything alright? What is going on?"_

 _Sans sighed and answered in a mumble._

 _"She's hurting, Paps. She's hurting so bad, and there is nothing I can do about it..."_

 _They stood in silence for a few moments before he turned back to the door, pausing as he opened it to smile over his shoulder at the company._

 _"Maybe we can do this another day. I will call you later, Paps, if she falls asleep for more than a few minutes."_

 _"WHY WON'T YOU CUNTS JUST LET ME FUCKING DIE?!"_

 _All four winced and Sans felt his smile falter as he quickly stepped inside and shut the door. He had not wanted them to hear you when you were like this... You didn't want it either... He knew they would rearrange going to the movie and dinner, but they would not be able to forget your words, and they had not even heard the other vitriol you spewed when in the clutches of your pain..._

 _Tomorrow would be better, right?_


	5. Chapter 5

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 5

You woke up before the sun today. Sans was gone, but you could hear moving downstairs, as well as his carefully measured voice. Your father was still snoring away in his room, and you could not tell if Toriel was up and about or not. If she was still abed, you had no idea how she could sleep through Asgore's thunderous snoring.

With a sigh, you swung your legs over the bed. You ached again, but that was pretty normal for you. In a few moments you would know if it was stiffness that made you hurt or the sickness. You were used to the constant aches that went with it, your bones had grown weaker where the cancerous cells had made their way from their initial site to their boney neighbors. You padded over to the dresser and pulled out sweatpants and a plain shirt, dressing quickly and throwing Sans' abandoned hoodie over it all, zipping it as you went down the stairs.

You saw Sans leaning against a wall, facing away from you with his phone to the side of his head. At first you were not sure who he would be calling this early, then he flinched and held the phone about an inch away from himself and Papyrus' loud voice blasted into the room. You didn't get the whole thing, but you were fairly certain he said that he would stay over at your apartment with you two tonight to make sure that... something, something... You couldn't hear the rest as Sans put the phone closer to his head and he began speaking again.

"Look Paps, just... Just don't go too crazy and... We will be home soon." there was a pause and he nodded, running his free hand over his skull with a sigh "I know. Look, just make sure that if you tell people that they don't flood them, okay? They doesn't need that right now."

You cleared your throat, smiling a little as the short skeleton spun around in surprise, his shoulders pulled up to where his ears would be. You laughed, like you always did when that happened, but the sound felt wrong. Your smile dimmed a bit as you moved to make coffee, humming to yourself as you moved on the the refrigerator to start pulling out things for breakfast. Cooking something was a good way to keep your mind occupied, and it would be a nice surprise for your parents.

"Yeah, they're up now. We will be home in a while, bro. Go ahead and go for your run, Undyne will keep you busy til we get home."

He clicked his phone shut and dropped it on the table. He stood watching you as you absently stirred the batter in the bowl in front of you while your eyes scanned the cupboard for cinnamon. Reaching out with his magic, he shuffled things around faster than your tired eyes could follow and chuckled when you made a wild grab for something that looked like it might be what you were after. Cayenne pepper. Nope, not that.

"Oh my god, just give the cinnamon, assbutt."

He snickered at the name, replacing the majority of the contents of the cupboard back in their places, but holding on to four other containers and spinning them around your head. The two of you always played like this. Sans would put things up too high for you to reach, or flick them just out of your reach just as you went for them, just to get you riled up a little. Usually, you would retaliate with putting something like salt in his coffee, or switching his ketchup with hot sauce, but being at your parent's home curbed that impulse. Your eyes locked onto the cinnamon and you started silently counting to time of it's orbit.

As you snatched it out of the air, you laughed and tried to turn back to flash him a smile, but your feet tangled and instead you stumbled backwards and hit the counter with your back. Your yelp of surprise and pain wiped he smile off Sans' face as his magic released the other jars, which went spinning to the floor.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

You held up your hand and let out a slow breath. It had hurt, but only for a moment, now just a dull ache remained. You waved off his apologies and bumped your forehead against his, just standing still for a moment.

"I-"

"Don't worry, Sans. It's fine. A stumble isn't going to kill me. I seem to have the best luck with falls, you know. Now, other things might, but a fall? Nah."

His eyes went dark and he was silent. Your attempt at humor clearly far missing it's mark. You look down, suddenly feeling guilty for the attempt at making the situation better with a joke. You both jumped when you heard the door upstairs open and Toriel's feet moving quickly down the stairs. Her face cross when she appeared, her eyes scanning the room. When she saw the jars on the floor (the nutmeg still rolling forlornly under the table) she fixed you both with a glare.

"You two better not have been roughhousing. Frisk, you know you can't-"

"I know. I'm sorry mom."

"Sorry Tori."

Both of you glanced at each other, then quietly went about making breakfast as your mother fussed over the bruise forming on your back and trying to get you to go sit while she finished cooking. You managed to convince her to let you do it, and before long the smell of pancakes, eggs and bacon filled the house. Sans had taken a seat by Toriel after you chased him off for hovering.

You watched your family eat and smiled to yourself. You knew that these times would not last much longer. You knew that soon the normalcy would be forced and you would be back to having people hover constantly, watch to see how much you ate today as opposed to yesterday, checking your skin for blisters. You knew soon you would have to deal with losing control of your bladder and bowels again, and the vomiting and itching.

But that was a thought for another day. For now, you were not hurting and you could still take care of yourself.

One day at a time.


	6. Chapter 6

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 6

You sighed and looked around, feeling uncomfortable in the soft leather seats of the spa that Mettaton had taken you to. Not that you didn't appreciate it, quite the opposite, but you were not sure how well you were going to be able to handle being touched today. You were a hard bump away from tears at all times, pain flaring from your hips and lower back and, much to your dismay, your left knee. You were not sure if it was just joining in on the 'fun' or if it was a signal that something else was going on, but you had to keep track of it and tell the doctor when you went in next. Three days from now.

Until then, you were busy most days. Mettaton was in town for a little while, and with him came many entertaining stories, gifts, and forced shopping trips. When he had heard the news from Papyrus (albeit a month and a half later, as you had asked him to keep quiet about it until he got to come home on his own. Papyrus had tried, he really did, but it slipped during a call when he said that he was waiting for you and Sans to come back from the hospital), he had actually canceled a show overseas to come straight home. You were touched by the show of affection from your flamboyant friend, though less than surprised at the activities that the visit would entail. The robot stretched and watched you from under his bangs as a woman gently rubbed your arms with something that smelled of peaches. You were losing weight fast, and he hated the pallor that always lingered on your face.

"Darling, I have a question"

"I might have an answer."

Mettaton rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and readjusted himself so he was facing you fully, delicately crossing his legs and leaning his chin on his hand.

"Will you be alright?"

You looked over at him in surprise. Usually he would be trying to fluff his conversations up, trying to pose questions discretely and carefully. His bluntness surprised you, and you did not answer right away, choosing instead to take a sip of the water that was close to you.

"Will I be alright? I'm not sure I-"

"Yes you do." His voice cut across yours easily "You know that we are all worried. You had so much trouble last time and... I worry."

You shrug your shoulders, ignoring the small sigh of annoyance from the woman who was trying to now wrap your arms in warm cloths.

"I'll be alright, Mettaton. At least for now. I worry more about mom and dad and Sans and everybody more. They are going to have to be the ones to deal with me when..."

You tap your temple pointedly, rolling your eyes around for emphasis. The robot pursed his lips in understanding, his eyes shifting away from your face. He had not seen you when you were at your worst, but he had heard tales from the others about the things they had heard through walls and closed doors. Deciding now seemed like a good time to change the subject, he reached out and touched your fried hair. It had grown brittle and dry and was beginning to fall out.

"I hate to say this, Gorgeous, but your hair-"

"Yeah, it isn't long for the world. I should just get rid of it."

"Well, when we are done here, why don't I take you to get it taken care of and then we can get some scarves or hats if you want them?"

You smile and nod, silently hoping you could get away with just a few small purchases, but remembering who you were talking to, you realize you might be out for a while. You close your eyes and listen to Mettaton talk, hoping that with a little rest and some luck, you could get through the shopping without incident. When you had gone with Papyrus to get groceries last week, you had to be carried home by the larger skeleton. You had been so full of energy that day, as you had been today, and you really should know better than to assume that you could go all day like you could before.

But you had to keep their memories of you happy.

… **...**

 **AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I am sorry I have not updated in a while, things have been keeping me rather... busy. I hope everybody had a wonderful Easter weekend and that today is as beautiful as bronze**


	7. Chapter 7

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 7

This was probably the worst part of your treatment. You hated being alone in the sterile room, secured to a table while a machine buzzed and whirred around you. The doctor had a radio in the room to help by giving you something other than the machine to listen to, but days like this were not fun. Normally they tried to make sure you were as comfortable as possible before securint you with tape and specially molded pieces of foam that fit under your back, hips, legs and arms. Today, there was no getting comfortable. You were in tears by the time you were in place, and you would have to remain until the treatment was done, immobile.

"You're doing a great job, sweetheart. Almost done, I promise."

The doctor's voice was always kind, fatherly. He spoke through a speaker during your treatments, always having something to say when you became anxious or when you were obviously not feeling well. He had to add on extra time today, since they had found three more tumors at the last check. You kept listening to the music and trying to be still, waiting.

"Are they in the waiting room?"

The question felt silly to be asked. You knew they were, but you wanted some reminder that there were people waiting for you just through a couple doors. You could imagine what was going on in there. Sans was not there today, having stayed home after you and your parents had insisted that he needed to take some time to himself to rest. Asgore would be sitting quietly, more than a little awkward in the chairs that were never quite large enough for him, while Toriel would be talking to the nurse that came in to give updates.

"Yep, they should be ready once we are done here. Which should be just about... now"

The machine powered down and you gave a sigh of relief. Now all you had to do was get up and get dressed...

You look over to the door as a nurse came in, holding a bag that held your clothes, smiling as she crossed over to you.

"We have a few students today. Would it be alright if we had them in and help you?"

You nodded and waited a moment before three new people came in. Two humans and a monster. Your throat tightened when you saw that bright green flame. It was Grillby's daughter. You smile at her as best you can and ask how her father is doing, trying to be nonchalant as she gingerly lifts your arm and pulls the foam from under you. One of the students, a small woman with blonde hair and chilly eyes, pulls your hip up a little too roughly and you yelp in sudden pain.

"I'm sorry, did that hurt?"

You felt yourself get angry. You knew it was not intentional and she was still learning, but your nerves were already frayed.

"I don't know, why don't we tie you down here and let your body eat itself while we dump radiation on you and see how you feel?"

That was not fair, and you knew it, but part of you didn't particularly care.

Grillby's daughter, you could not remember her name right then, shot her a look and started telling you about how her father's business was going, then stepped back and let the third student, a large man with thick glasses, gently sit you up on the edge of the table. He looked a little unsure as you tugged at the strings that held the thin cloth gown closed. You smiled at the nurse as she put a restraining hand on his arm, bidding him to wait until you asked for help. You were grateful. You know there are a lot of things you can't do at this point, but you could still at least get yourself mostly dressed alone.

You listen to her explaining the redness of your skin and possible effects that the radiation would have on you as you peeled the gown off, your eyes lingering on the way that the bones stuck out through your skin. You had never been slender, soft and rounded was a good way to describe you before all this, so there were some places where the skin hung off you like a sheet hung on a pole. Your hands and feet were so boney that you were surprised some days that they functioned at all.

When it came time for your pants, you had to wait while they gently stood you up and keep you steady until you could get them up and secured. You said a quiet goodbye to the doctor and the students as the nurse took your elbow and helped you hobble out to the waiting room, delivering you safely to the hands of your mother and father. Asgore lifted you in his massive hands and smiled at you, promising you tea when you got home, saying they were going to have you at their home for a few more hours to let you rest a little before taking you to your apartment.

You nod, tearing up again as more pain threaded through you. You would have to take your pain killers when you got there, cursing yourself for leaving your bag in the car. The longer you put it off, the longer it would take to work and the higher the chance that it would not be able to work properly at all.

Once home, you were placed on the armchair that Asgore usually used and covered up with the quilt that your mother had made for you. Honestly, it was one of the ugliest things you had ever seen, but it was soft and warm and served as a reminder of how much she loved you. You pretended to watch tv while your parents talked in the kitchen, knowing that they were talking about the latest discoveries. You wondered if the tumors could be able to be killed before they made more of themselves to grow in other places, then sighed.

You woke up suddenly when you heard a door opening. The skeleton brothers walking into the house as quietly as possible, probably having been told by Toriel that you were asleep. Seeing Papyrus quiet was still something interesting to see, knowing how he was the way you did. You looked at Sans and were glad to see that it seemed like he had gotten some sleep while you were away. He flashed you a smile and came to sit with you, asking how everything had gone and listening to your explanation to Papyrus about how cancers could move around the body. When he asked how you can get rid of something that won't stand still, you just shrugged and sighed.

Suddenly, you don't feel like talking anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 8

Something is wrong.

You tried to follow the movements of the people in the house, but they seemed to flicker between too moving too slow or too fast. Their mouths moved, but the sounds that came out didn't make sense. The words garbled and overlapped each other. The tangled noises made your head hurt. The figures turned to face you, one tall, one short, one with red hair. You couldn't remember their names.

You didn't know them. You were alone with strange people in a place you can't recognize. You were getting scared.

"hfuaeifphu. Fhaefh uiah auhe terr?"

You shrink back from the one that spoke, holding it's hand out toward you. You were afraid to move, you knew how much it would hurt, and you were already in so much pain...

The hand came closer and caught your arm and pulled at it, trying to free it from the blanket that was wrapped around you. Tears sting your eyes and you try to pull away, the white-hot pain flaring in your joints causing you to make a sound low in your throat, somewhere between a sob and a groan.

"Frish? Hfuah iu wahef? Friish!"

Now the taller figures were coming at you, reaching toward you, their mouths forming the nonwords as they came, the sounds overpowering the other's attempt to get you to respond to it. You feel your stomach pitch and roll and bile rose in your throat. As you vomited in your pain, you tried to tell them to leave, to stop touching you, that you didn't know them. They seemed to be answering you, but you didn't know.

Suddenly you were being lifted, and the pain became too intense. You scream and cry and thrash, causing yourself nothing but more pain as your fear grows. You don't know what is happening.

You don't know why they are hurting you.

…...

"Brother, what do I do?"

Papyrus was holding your struggling body as gently as he could, his eyes casting around the apartment for somewhere to set you down. You had fallen asleep on the way home and had roused while Sans was filling Undyne in on your status. You had vomited just in time for a weak pun, and Sans tried to joke about how his humor not being THAT terrible. Then the groaning started.

His bones went paler and he quickly unlocked the door. He had to be quick if he wanted to get you inside before things got too bad, but when he saw Papyrus sprinting up the sidewalk with you in his arms, shrieking every step, he knew there was going to be no stopping it. The best thing to do was get you inside and into bed, then you two could just wait it out, like you always did in the past.

'"Bedroom, Paps. Just get her in there, I will take care of the rest."

Papyrus wasted no time getting you into the bed, then looked around, again unsure of what to do. He wanted to help, but he was not sure what would help and what would cause you further distress. Finally, he decided to try to get a different shirt on you, seeing as you had gotten sick on the one you were wearing.

"Human, I cannot help you if you keep trying to squirm away!"

"Papyrus, stop. You should go."

Sans was already beside you two, tilting his head back as an elbow sailed past in front of his eye, then with speed born of practice, had the shirt up and over your head and in a basket in the corner.

"Sans, I want to help..."

"You can help by getting out of my way. Please, we can figure out something later if you want to help take care of her, but for now just let me get her situated. Go talk to Undyne, I will be out."

He watched the younger skeleton deflate a bit and walk slowly out the door, being sure to close it behind him. He did not intend to snap at Papyrus, but he just wanted to get you quieted down enough so that you could be left alone for a few minutes and just so damn tired...

He had been dreading the day that the confusion started again. The pain days he could handle, but the confusion scared him the worst. He did not like who you became when you were like this, and he knew he could not let Papyrus be around you like this.

Some days, he hated being a caretaker.


	9. Chapter 9

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 9

Toriel sat with Asgore, Sans and Papyrus in her living room. Nobody was talking, the silence of the room weighing down on everybody. Their human companion was upstairs sleeping again, having been drained of her energy after a brief chat and a cup of tea.

"What did they say at the doctor's?"

Asgore's rumbling voice seemed so loud, the skeleton brothers flinched. Toriel's eyes strayed toward the staircase, her ears shifting as she listened for any sign that her daughter had roused herself from bed. When she heard nothing, she slumped back in the chair with a sigh. She and Sans had gone to the doctor with you for this last meeting after the scans of the previous few days, as they usually did. Her face was still as Sans looked down at the carpet, scuffing his feet. Papyrus looked between the two monsters, his fingers tapping on his kneecap.

Neither of them wanted to say it. The words were there, sitting in their heads like sharp stones grinding together, but when they tried to speak, they massed together into a lump that permitted no sound to pass.

Toriel took a deep drink of her tea, washing the bitter taste out of her mouth that the day had left. Should they wait until you were awake? Would it be better for you to tell now, so you would not see the immediate result of the news? They both had managed to keep it together at the hospital and on the way home, not speaking unless they had to. The normal facade holding but fragile as butterfly wings.

Finally, it was Sans who spoke.

"They can't do anything."

Papyrus' head snapped around to look at his brother, his jaw hanging slightly open in surprise. The shorter skeleton's face was covered by his shaking hands, his voice shivery as he launched into the explanation without prompting.

"They found 14 more tumors in there. Some of the old ones weren't there anymore, but with the rate that they are seeing it spread out, they don't expect... Frisk said that they were done with the treatments."

He lapsed into silence, his bones rattling as he shivered like his body was trying to shake itself apart. Asgore looked down at his hands, the hands that he once had thought were so strong. Big hands that he had used to hurt and hold in turn, that could rip a door from it's hinges with little effort, that would not be able to hold back this fate. Toriel had begun to cry and excused herself to the kitchen to be alone, just as she had done when Chara and Asriel had died. Papyrus' browbones came together s he thought about the coming times. You were stopping the treatments? But if you did that...

His eyes filled with tears as he leaned against Sans, his brother's close proximity serving to give him little comfort for once. He was surprised when he pushed away from Papyrus, standing and moving a few steps away before blinking away to he knew not where. He knew Sans liked to be alone when he was distressed about things, but he had never seen him upright leave when other people were hurting as badly as he was. He looked around and went to stand, but was stopped by Asgore's hand on him.

"Let him go, Papyrus."

The taller skeleton looked lost, and the king of monsters hugged him tightly. The two wept together while Toriel and Sans cut themselves off for the time being. Nobody knew how to talk to you about it, though they knew that the subject would have to be breeched at some point. Arrangements had to be made before the inevitable happened.

…...

Sans appeared in the living room of the apartment you shared with a faint 'pop' and the soft thump of his feet landing on the rug that rested in front of the sofa. With how sick you had gotten, Sans had gotten a bit lazy with the housekeeping, a layer of dust covering most surfaces and dishes sitting in the sink waiting to be washed. He crossed to the kitchen and took the last clean glass (to be fair, between the two of you, you owned only six) from the cupboard and filled it with water. As he drank, he felt the anger boiling back up into his chest again.

He spun and sent the glass flying, spinning into the opposite wall where it was smashed into shards that he would worry about later. Blinded suddenly by his anger, he reached for a plate, then a mug, then anything else he could get his hands on. All of it was flung into walls or crushed under a rain of bones. He had moved on to the living room when he stopped, lifting a picture frame to sling it before halting mid-throw. Slowly he lowered his arm, looking at the picture inside, the searing anger fizzling out, leaving him feel suddenly empty and tired. He sat down on a cushion that had ended up on the floor ear him, his eyes not leaving the picture.

You weren't sick then. You were sitting with Sans, looking at a caterpillar that was making it's way along a stick you held. He looked a little weirded out and confused, you looked like you were laughing. You probably were. You had always laughed then.

He looked up from the photo and surveyed the damage he had caused. Any other day, he would have gotten on cleaning up and gone to the store to try to replace the broken things before you noticed. But today was not like the other days. He picked his way through the debris and made his way to a closet you stored things. Nothing you used often, but things you did not want to get rid of.

He looked down at the boxes, three in particular were what he was after. Two of them were on top of the stack, but the last one was toward the bottom and had to be carefully wiggled loose before the other boxes were replaced in the tiny room.

Sans lifted the lid of the pink patterned shoebox first. Lifting a handful of pictures and notes from it, he smiled to himself. You liked to keep memories this way, in little knicknacks and papers, photos and fliers. You could recite the story that went with every single item in there, even the small bone that was resting inside tissue was a memory for you. He liked the pictures the most in this box. All smiles, laughter and joy. Things that were as much a part of you as you were a part of him. Scenes played in his head of the countless outings, picnics, cooking lessons and occasional drunken carousing played through his head as he dug through the box of memories. This was you. This was the you he wanted to keep.

This was the you that he knew he was going to lose.


	10. Chapter 10

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 10

Today was a good day.

You sat with Alphys as she adjusted wires in Mettaton's back as he rambled about the shows that he was planning on after his 'break' was over. He had announced to his disapointed fans a few days ago that he was taking some time to himself for about a year for 'personal reasons'. Most of the fans had responded with sadness or downright anger at his sudden deviation from the planned year of shows, appearances and signings, but for once he turned a deaf ear to the public. You all knew the reason, even though none of you had voiced it.

But today was not about that. His maintenance had fallen a bit behind and he had come to Alphys while the two of you were sitting quietly watching television, his speech skipping and jittery. Apparently somebody thought it would be funny to afflict the poor robot with a stutter. You had a feeling you knew who it might be, but you kept your mouth shut and made a mental note to give him a gentle scolding later before congratulating him on a prank well played. You were pretty sure Alphys knew too, as she shot you a look that said 'Seriously?' as she pinpointed the issue and saw the coded message that caused the issue.

"So darling, how have you been feeling?"

You shrug and shift in your chair. You couldn't walk very well anymore, so unless you had somebody around to support you, you were confined to a wheelchair most of the time.

"I've been pretty alright lately. I am on some pretty great drugs, so I don't hurt too bad for now. I was thinking it would be nice to get out of the house for a while. Maybe go to a park or something, if the weather is nice."

Alphys nodded, reaching for a pair of pliers. She never talked while she worked, so Mettaton did it for her.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea! When we are done, we can call everybody and meet up."

You rolled your chair back and reached for your cell phone. If you wanted to be sure that everybody was going to come, you needed to tell them now. You knew you would not eat much, your appetite had dropped off quite a bit the last few weeks, but you knew that your mother would want to make things for people to eat. You would call Sans when he was on his break at work to tell him where everybody would be when he got out.

As an afterthought, you lifted the phone and turned the camera on and snapping a picture of you making a silly face before sending the message and picture out in one big send. You had taken to putting happy or funny things in your messages lately. People always could see how tired and unwell you were all the time, and it made you feel better to put in little reminders that you were still you, even after all this.

Alphys made a frustrated sound as Mettaton squirmed, trying to read over your shoulder as you opened replies from everybody. Pleased with the fact that you knew everybody was coming (you knew Sans would be there, he went where you went, generally) you twisted and pulled a notebook from the bag that hung on the back of your chair. You had a few pages full of lists and notes to yourself, a few silly things you wanted to remember, and a few notes for your friends. You knew that writing to people was probably morbid, but it made you feel better knowing you would be able to leave with something nice to say to them all. You flipped past them to a blank page, rolling away from the robot's curious eyes. These were meant to be private, just between you and the addressee. You had no way of controlling what they did after they received the letters, but for now you could keep it that way.

For the next two hours, all that could be heard was Mettaton's quiet humming, Alphys cranking and snipping wires, and your pen scratching the paper in front of you. It was peaceful, and you were glad.

Days of peace and happiness. That was what you wanted.


	11. Chapter 11

Saying Goodbye

 _Dear Momster and Dadguy,_

 _I really hope that you get this a little after I am gone. I don't want to cause you more pain than you are already in. I left this here because I knew you would find it and the others when you went through my things, and I did not want Sans finding them early. You know how he is sometimes with his snooping._

 _First, I want to say that I am so grateful to you. I could never have asked for a better set of parents than you. I know that my teenage years were a... challenge for you. Human puberty is nothing to sneeze at, and I was always so grateful for your understanding on the days that I was so terrible. I hope that you can forgive those days._

 _I know that you do not want to think about me being gone, and I know that you don't want to think about the things that come after, but this is really important. You need to tell Sans that the key with this letter opens the lockbox that I kept under the bed. Inside of it are all the documents that you should need to get any legal issues sorted out. My will is in there, as are a few other things that might be useful._

 _I was always happy with you. I am so glad that I fell into the mountain when I did. It was scary, but I found a family to love who loved me with everything that they had. I will miss you so much when I am gone that I can't even try to describe it. I hope that you can forgive me for robbing you of another child. If it was up to me, I would never leave you._

 _I want you all to be happy and well. Please, don't grieve me forever. I love you both, so much._

 _Always in my heart,_

 _Frisk._


	12. Chapter 12

Saying Goodbye

 _To the Glamorous and Handsome Mettaton,_

 _I hope that this letter finds you alright. I left it with the others at Mom and Dad's place, because they were probably going to be the ones to start going through my things first._

 _I hope that you and Papyrus are doing alright. I worry for everybody right now. I worry for you too. I am writing to you as you are getting worked on by Alphys, and every now and then you have the saddest look on your face. I know why, but I still wish that I was not the cause of it._

 _When you get this, I hope the the glitter falling out of it did not get too clumpy. It was supposed to be like a cloud of happy sparkles, not a clod of glittery mess._

 _If you want any of the things that you bought for me while I was sick, just ask Sans for it. I am sure that he will be okay with you coming and picking up anything. Except the green scarf with the yellow pattern. I am going to be using that one. I hope that you don't mind me keeping that for myself._

 _Thank you. For everything that you have ever done for me. I may have sometimes complained about the shopping trips and the spa days and stuff, but I really did like it. I liked spending time with you out and about, even if we got mobbed by fans from time to time._

 _Either way, I wanted to say that I love you. You have always been a wonderful friend, and I hope you have an amazing comeback tour. Take care of Papyrus, alright?_

 _Wishing you beauty and joy,_

 _Darling Frisk_


	13. Chapter 13

Saying Goodbye

You sighed as you closed your eyes. Summer days were always the best in your opinion, matching your outlook on life for the most part. Sunny, warm, and full to bursting with sweet things that would be remembered by all who took part in them. The grass had been cut only an hour earlier, Papyrus offering to do it for your parents while they took you to the hospital for a check-in. The doctor was pleased at your pain management regimen and sent you home with a new bottle of pain killers and some antibiotics for in case you encountered any illnesses.

Now you were laid out on a wide blanket under your favorite flowering tree, hands under your head, staring up into the leaves above you. Times like this, you could almost forget that you were sick. You felt wonderful, your pain was minimal, and you honestly were happy.

You looked around when you heard the door open and close, wondering who was coming to sit with you. Asgore was not due home for some time yet, and Toriel had gone in a little while ago. You knew that Alphys would call before coming over to make sure that it was okay, and if it was Undyne you would have heard her calling from the minute she got there.

"Hey."

You smiled up at the blue shape over you. The rough voice would have told you who it was even if you could not see him. You shifted around and managed to prop yourself on your elbows to gesture for him to sit.

Sans, never one to turn down an opportunity to be seated and relaxing, flopped down beside you, a glass in each hand that looked to hold lemonade. Usually he did not bother with the stuff, but apparently Toriel had convinced him to take it instead of anything stronger.

"Hey you. How was work today? Anything interesting?"

The skeleton shook his head, sipping at one of the glasses of lemonade and handing you the other, keeping his grip on it until he was absolutely sure you had it. He rarely let you do anything these days, at least anything that he deemed unsafe. If you did do something, he usually insisted that either he or Toriel go with you. He tended to hover while you did things, whether it was eating, dressing yourself, or sleeping.

"Well... tell me about it anyway. Make something up, if it helps."

Sans chuckled and leaned back on his hands, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Okay. Well, how about this one... I'm in the back, see, and I hear Martha, you remember her? The tall skinny girl who answers the phones? Well, she hears the bell go off at the door and goes to greet the guy right, and ask what help he needs. The guy looks like he doesn't know the power button from the USB on a computer, asking all these questions that nobody in their right mind asks. I'm sitting there listening to all this, right, and I see this teenager come in behind him, looking all sheepish. Then this guy asks if there is any way for us to clean a computer."

He looks at you and you nod, smiling. You were trying to figure out if this was what he liked to call a 'no shitter' story or not.

"She asks him what kind of cleaning he was looking for, and he tells her" he starts to laugh "he tells her, he needs somebody to clean dog shit out of it! I guess the kid had left his laptop on the floor and the family dog couldn't hold it anymore!"

You both were laughing at that point. You were laughing hard enough to lose your breath and started snorting with mirth. You felt your arms giving out under you and leaned against the skeleton, who was still shaking with suppressed laughs. It took some time, but you both quieted down and wiped your eyes. You had needed a good laugh, and you knew Sans needed one too. He had been quiet since you had decided to stop your treatments, and you worried about him.

You grinned and reached around behind you, lifting a fluffy crown of leaves and flowers, something you had not made in years before today, and dropped it onto his skull. You laughed again as his eyes swiveled up to try to look at it before realizing what it was.

"Well, ain't I the prettiest in the land."

You leaned against him, feeling the magic in his bones humming just as strongly as ever, and smiled to yourself. You knew there would be a day when this was no longer an option, and you intended to make this last.

Summer, though, had other plans. The two of you watched the sky as clouds moved in, bringing with them heavy air and the smell of storms. Sans wanted to take you inside right away and moved to lift you, but you held up your hand.

"Wait. Just for a little while, I want to stay."

"Kid, it's going to start coming down on us any minute. I don't want you getting sick."

You shake your head, twisting yourself until you could slowly crawl to the edge of the blanket and lay there on your back just as the first drop hit your cheek.

"I have to enjoy it, Sans. Rainstorms are like people."

He screwed up his face in puzzlement as he looked up at the clouds and waited for you to explain.

"Rain isn't always."

He looked at you and his face fell a little. He understood what you meant now. You did not know when the rain was coming next, or when it was going to be gone. With a sigh, he laid down beside you and put an arm around your shoulders.

"Yeah, alright. Just for a few minutes though..."

You smile.

"Thank you, Sans."


	14. Chapter 14

Saying Goodbye

 _To Undyne,_

 _Hello, dear and enthusiastic friend. I hope that you and Alphys are doing alright. I know that there are going to be some hard times ahead, but if I know anything about you, it will be alright._

 _I know that the others all say you are the strongest of them, that you are the one that everybody calls when they need a shoulder to lean on. I know I leaned on you more than my fair share in the past, even when I did not really have the right to. I know how people can be when this kind of thing happens, so I want to tell you something._

 _Take care of yourself. Others will need you and you should support them, but you need to remember to have your own time and your own feelings. Nobody will think less of you if you show your hurt._

 _I know what you are thinking. 'I'm Undyne, I'm as tough at iron and as rough as rocks!' and you would be right. But you know what? Even things made of iron and stone have supports._

 _Anyway, I wanted to say that I think you are awesome. Call me a dweeb if you want, because it is true. I am a dweeb. Enclosed with this letter is a pair of tickets to Comicon. You and Alphys can go and have a good time._

 _Take lots of pictures and eat lots of junk for me, alright?_

 _Love you, fishface._

 _~Dweeb_


	15. Chapter 15

Today was bad. You are in bed all the time now. You can barely lift your head when people come into your room.

Not much longer now.


	16. Chapter 16

Saying Goodbye

 _Alphys,_

 _Sweet, kind, smart, beautiful Alphys._

 _Clever Alphys, I don't need to sugar coat anything for you. My dying is going to hurt so many people that we all love. I remember what you said about... our plan. I know that my soul won't help him where he is now, but I don't want him to be alone._

 _I enclosed another letter in with yours, for you to drop down to him. Please, make sure he gets it. Even if I can't save him, I want him to know that I still forgive him. I ask you to get some of my ashes and send them down there. That way, maybe he won't be so lonely._

 _I know you are never sure of yourself, especially with the things that happened in the past with your old research. I want you to remember that it was not your fault. You had no idea what would happen, and even though it took some time, you righted past mistakes when you sent your charges back to live with their families again._

 _Remember Alphys, that we only get one chance. Make the most of the time that you have and try to not live in the past, okay? Learn from it, feel it, acknowledge that it all happened, then let it go and look ahead._

 _Today there is rain, tomorrow a rainbow._

 _Keep going forward, and take care of Undyne and yourself. I love you both._

 _Always your friend, no matter what_

 _Frisk_


	17. Chapter 17

Saying Goodbye

Toriel sat in her usual place at the side of your bed, a book laying open in her lap. You had asked to be allowed to stay at home, and the doctor had agreed to your request, coming through every few days to check on your condition. He had told them all what to expect as more time passed and your body slowly began to fail. Even with the warnings, none of them were ready for it.

Her eyes drifted to the blue hoodie that was draped over your legs, one bony hand clenching the hood as though it was the only thing that kept you tethered to the world. She had cleaned the apartment to a spotless sheen, not saying anything about the abandoned dishes and piles of unfolded clothes and discarded mail. She didn't blame Sans for letting things fall by the wayside, though she wished he had told her sooner that things were this bad for him. She looked at your face, trying to match the face on the pillows with the smiling face that she had grown to love since she had met you in the ruins. You lips were a bruised purple now, your eyes sunken above hollow cheeks, blue veins standing starkly under papery skin.

When you let out a dry gasp, she retrieved a soft sponge that was attached to a stick and gently swabbed the inside of your mouth, jumping slightly when your jaws closed instinctively down on it. She knew it would happen, but it always gave her a bit of a start anyway. Careful of your lips, she used one claw to pull your teeth apart, cooing sweet words as she did.

She smiled when one eye opened slowly and focused on her. You always had such beautiful eyes. When you released the sponge and stick, she wondered if there would be any words today. Sometimes you went days without saying anything, others you would speak in disjointed sentences. Her careful hands rearranged the blankets and shifted you slightly up in the bed.

"Are you awake, my child?"

Your eyes followed her movements, and you made a strangled croaking sound and moved your lips, trying to talk. She wetted another sponge and swabbed your mouth again, this time leaning you up so you could try to swallow any water that was left behind.

"Awake."

It was not much, but it was something. Your eyes lowered to the jacket that you held, then scanned the room.

"Where?"

"Sans is downstairs, dear. I told him to get something to eat. Do you want anything?"

"Ice."

She nodded and rose, being sure to prop you up on the pillows before stepping toward the bedroom door. Her feet were quiet on the thick carpet, always a feat for a creature of her stature.

Downstairs, she found Sans sitting in the little kitchen, spinning a cup lazily on the table. His eyes were dark as he looked up at Toriel, watching her intently as she moved around him to the freezer. He didn't talk very much anymore. They all wondered when he would be able to tell his silly jokes again.

"More ice? I would think that she would want more than that..."

She shrugged as she popped a few cubes loose and put them in a plastic bag, securing them carefully before reaching for the wooden spoon. She brought the tool down hard, a loud crack coming from the ice. She smashed it a few more times, not noticing Sans wince with every strike. She felt tears stinging her eyes as she poured the shards into a clean cup, hoping you were still awake when she got upstairs.

"Sans, will you take this to her? I want to call Asgore and tell him that I will be home tonight."

"Sure. Not tonight, then?"

She handed him the cup.

"I don't think so. You will tell me if anything changes?"

Sans nodded and walked to the stairs, his head still hanging. He had not been sleeping. She knew he was tired, just like her.

"Get some sleep Sans. Please."

"Alright. Thanks Tori."

He walked up the small set of stairs and opened the door quietly. Everything was quiet here now. When you had been better, there was always something happening. Music was playing, the television was on, the washer and drier were going. You hated silence. It made you uncomfortable. The first two weeks you lived together had driven him nuts when you always had the fan in the bedroom on. He was not used to sleeping with sounds, now he was finding it hard to sleep without them.

He managed to get a few spoonfuls of ice down you before you started to shake your head. With a shrug, he put the cup down. When you were done, you were done. He decided he would try to sleep a little and turned on the fan. He crept up onto the bed beside you, his hand resting on your wrist. You shifted a little in your sleep, and he rested his forehead against your shoulder, hoping that his sleep would be dreamless.

Hoping that when he woke up, you would still be there.

 **AN: Hello to all. I look forward to finishing this off tomorrow, with any luck. I love your feedback, so please, if you have something to say, please send it my way. I hope you all have a good day**


	18. Chapter 18

Saying Goodbye

 _To The Grrrreat Papyrus,_

 _Hello darling baby-bones. I hope that you are alright. I know you are hurting, everybody will be right now, me included. I wish I could stay with you all forever._

 _First let me say this. I know Sans and I always teased you about the 'Great Papyrus' thing, but to both of us, there was only ever one, and he is indeed great. The greatest there ever was or will be. How many other people have you met with your ability to solve and make puzzles AND masterfully cooked traps?_

 _Remember how we used to set up little obsticle courses in the winter for the kids at the parks? Dad would dress as Santa and to get to him, we would just leave little things for them to figure out? I am going to miss doing that._

 _There is an endless road ahead of you, Papyrus. There is nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to it. Keep yourself going and you will always be amazing to all of us._

 _I know this does not require saying, but I want you to do me a favor. Look in on everybody for me every now and then? Especially your brother and my parents. I know that you and Mettaton will keep a lookout for each other, and Undyne and Alphys will do the same for each other. Mom and dad already lost two children, I can't imagine what will happen when I am gone too. As for Sans... You know how he cuts off when he hurts. Give him some time, but make sure that he gets to going out after a little while, okay? He will need you._

 _If there is anything you want, you can have it, unless Sans says otherwise. I am sure there are some things he is not going to want to part with. Maybe one of the cookbooks we used or something? I'm never sure what will catch your eye._

 _Love,_

 _The Human Frisk_


	19. Chapter 19

Saying Goodbye

The sun was bright today. Undyne sat at the foot of your bed, her scales paler then they had been in a long time, her good eye never leaving you. She listened to Alphys moving around in the kitchen. She was not sure how the yellow lizard woman could think of food at a time like this, but she didn't question it.

You had not opened your eyes for almost a week, and you were never left alone now, not even for a minute. It was too close to the end of this chapter of everybody's lives.

Undyne flipped her phone between her hands, trying to busy her hands. She was not made to be still, and she was even worse when she was upset. She stood with a sigh, stretching. She knew Alphys had said not to do anything but watch you, but she could not stay in one place unmoving for that long waiting for something.

"I'm going to, ah... to clear up in here, okay nerd?"

She smiled weakly at you, like you would respond to her. When you didn't, she started moving around the room, picking up a few bits of paper and the book that Papyrus had left abandoned on a stool after his visit earlier that day. He always insisted on reading to you. She was not sure you could even hear them when they talked, but she wasn't going to stop him. Anything to fill the silence, she supposed.

She paused at a photo that sat propped against the desk lamp that Mettaton had given you. It was shaped like him, of course. You had squealed with delight when he had given it to you, remembering it from your time in the Underground. It was dusty now, as was the picture. She was surprised that Toriel had not wiped things down in here, then decided that she would not have wanted to possibly disturb you.

The picture was from your last birthday, a riot of color. Everybody was crowded around you, smiling at the camera that had been passed to a stranger. Mettaton had the person take several different takes as he always insisted that he needed to pose differently. Finally, this picture happened. Undyne had lost her patience with the robot and held him down on the table by his hair, using her other hand to pin his pink shoulder to the table dangerously close to the cake that Toriel and Papyrus had spent ages on. You were looking away, eyes bright and hands over your mouth in a surprised laugh. Toriel and Asgore looked shocked and amused, the king lifting a hand to try to diffuse the situation with some careful words. Papyrus was laughing, leaning against Sans, who was grinning through his fingers beside you.

Beside that picture was another one from that night, snapped by Mettaton himself. You were standing in this one, even though by then your hips had been hurting you. You were not looking at the camera this time, the picture having been taken on the sly. You were taking a small wrapped package from Sans, the skeleton looking bashful and trying to look elsewhere and like he was not overly concerned with the gift he was giving you. You were smiling, like always. She wondered what had been in that box.

She spun on her heel when she heard a gasping choke. Your breathing had gone off, and every oddly spaced inhale made an odd noise in your chest. She shouted for Alphys to call your parents and as many people as she could, crossing the room in two long steps, grabbing you by the arm and leaning down to whisper in your ear.

"Fight, Frisk. Just fight for one more breath. Just let them get here first, okay?"

Your breaths continued.


	20. Chapter 20

Saying Goodbye

 _Asriel,_

 _Hello, my friend. I know that you go by Flowey too, but you will forgive me for using your real name this once, won't you?_

 _By the time that this gets to you, I will probably be at least a week gone. I know that I have been falling behind in my letters to you lately. I hope that you are not sad about that. You know how little I can do anymore. The only reason you were getting them at all for a while now is because Alphys agreed to take them up the mountain for me. I hope that if you saw her at all that you behaved yourself._

 _I am so sorry, my friend. I am sorry that I could not save you from your fate. Sorry that I couldn't find a way to repair the damage that was done to you. Sorry that I could not bring you up here with us. I missed you every day. We tried, we really did._

 _If it makes you feel any better, the times that I saw you when I was sending things down to you that I did see you, I saw improvement. I don't know if that means anything to you, but it meant a lot to me. I think that someday you will come up here and you will be alright._

 _I know you can do anything you put your mind to._

 _I hope that the gift that Alphys sent down to you made it alright. I would hate to think that anything broke..._

 _Either way, this will be my last letter. I am sorry to leave you alone again. Please, be good._

 _I love you, Asriel._

 _~Frisk_


	21. Chapter 21

Saying Goodbye

They all sat, listening to the human talking in front of the crowd of people. People who all had grown to know and love you. Sometimes there would be a sniffle or a quiet sob, but all in all, there was just the damned silence. Nobody wanted to say anything after the old man at the podium finished, nobody could find the right words.

Your monster family watched as people filed past the ornate urn that housed what was left of you. Laying at the top were a few pieces of jewelry. A bracelet that you had made with Alphys, a pair of earrings that your parents had given you when you graduated, and a plain silver locket that had been a gift from Sans. Things that people knew you would never want to be parted with, spared the fire by their nature and their unwillingness to let them be burned with you and your clothes.

The table you rested on was festooned with bright flowers, so many that several baskets and vases sat on the floor around it, the petals dancing merrily in the breeze that came in through the open window. Toriel and Asgore thanked people for coming and accepted condolences, standing a little ways away from the table that held you. Undyne and Alphys sat quietly, watching out a window as a few puffy clouds rolled by. Of course it was sunny today, they thought, you would have it no other way.

Papyrus sat with Sans, his hand on his brother's still shoulder. His tears ran fast and hard, but surprisingly silent. He worried for his brother, who had not said a word since that day that Alphys had called them, her words coming in rapid gasps as she told them that they needed to get back that very minute. Sans' eyes had gone wide and dark and he launched them through a series of 'shortcuts' so rapidly that the taller skeleton had barely had time to register the jumps. You had held on long enough for them to get there, every breath an obvious trial, before you finally let out one last rasp and stilled.

Sans had not said a word since.

Papyrus had stuck around the apartment after you were taken away and everybody else had gone to begin their grieving and planning for the funeral. He watched as Sans sat on the bed, unmoving. He tried to get him to come downstairs and talk to him, but he did not respond. Finally, Papyrus had left a bowl of reheated pasta on the dresser and left, not knowing what else to do. When he came back the next day, he had not moved more than a foot.

Now he was sitting in a cheap chair at the front of the crowd, his wide blank eyes on the urn. He barely looked up when Asgore stood before him and called out to him. In one large hand he held a bundle of envelopes, tied with a green string. When he knew Sans was listening to him, at least for the moment, he sifted through them before pulling one from the stack and holding it out to him. The short skeleton stared at it dumbly for a moment before taking it and letting it rest on his leg as his eyes unfocused and went back to staring straight ahead.

Asgore sighed and patted him on the shoulder, telling him to come to the house when he felt up to it, that he and Toriel would be happy to have him around. He circulated through the others, handing out the envelopes. Nobody opened the letters yet. Nobody had the heart to look at a page that had your careful pen strokes.

Nobody was surprised to see that Sans was gone when they went to leave. Toriel and Asgore held your urn and upended it from their rooftop, watching as the breeze caught you and sent you cascading through the air. A few smaller urns were waiting downstairs, with a little ash in them and the trinkets from earlier, to be given to the others. They stood watching as the cloud of ash spun and twirled away, thinking of your happy laughter.

Sans stood in the living room of the apartment, alone again. His movements were mechanical as he moved to the bedroom again. He spent most of his time there now, waiting for you to be there. He pulled off his jacket and stared at it when he heard the sound of crinkling paper. He had forgotten about the letter in his pocket. He opened it with shaking hands and settled into the chair in the corner that had been his almost constant post for the last six months and took a deep breath as he began to read.


	22. Chapter 22

_Patient Sans,_

 _I am sorry for doing this to all of you. I know that this is going to be hard, but I know that you will all get through it. I will miss you._

 _Don't wait around, alright? I promised that there would be no more resets all that time ago, and now I know that I couldn't do it even if I wanted to. I lost my power a long time ago. I don't know when exactly, but I suppose that it couldn't last forever. I only noticed when I wanted to go back after that big fight we had a little before this all started, when we thought that it might be the last time we would be speaking._

 _I'm sorry for the things I said then._

 _I know that you did most of the work with mom when I got to the point that I couldn't do as much on my own. I am so grateful for your patience and love through it all, even on the days that I know that I did not deserve for any of you to have any for me anymore._

 _You have always been a constant in my life, and I will miss you so much. I want you to remember me like I was, but I want you to not stay stuck in the past. I know how you can be, so don't try to deny that you hold on to some things for far too long._

 _I don't know what comes after this, and honestly, I am scared. I have always heard that there is an afterlife, but if there is, I have never seen anything that would tell me one way or another. I will find out soon enough I suppose. Assuming that there is one, I will be sure to put in a good word for everybody. I hope that monsters and humans go to the same place, otherwise I will just have to wander around until I stumble into wherever it is monsters go. It worked for me once, right?_

Sans covered his mouth with his free hand, stifling the sounds that tried to force their way up and out of him. His eyes were blurred as he read, pictures flashing by in his head. Your laughs, your tears, your nearly constant joyful radiance...

 _I hope that it didn't rain today. Rain may not be always, but it makes people so sad, and I don't want that. I know that I caused the sadness myself when I chose to stop fighting anymore. I had to stop, Sans. I knew that it was not going to end well for me, and I made the choice to go with some peace at home with the people that I love rather than in a hospital._

 _I hope that you can forgive me for leaving you behind someday._

 _All my love until we see each other again,_

 _Me_

 **AN: I am not sure if this is going to be the end or not. I feel like it is, but I may have one more in me to finish this off. Thank you all for sticking with it. As always, please don't be afraid to write a review and let me know what you think. Have a wonderful day everybody. And if it is raining, just remember that it isn't always.**


	23. Chapter 23

Saying Goodbye

Papyrus sat under the flowering tree in Toriel's yard. He had been enlisted to cut the grass again, and had decided that he would take a short rest before moving on to the front yard. He had retrieved a notebook from inside, and gnawed a pen for a moment before writing.

He had picked up the habit of writing his thoughts down from you, and while he was not always as diligent about it as you had been, he usually got something written at least once a week. Today had been a quiet day for everybody. It had been a year now, and nobody had really wanted to do much. It was worse on your birthday, but today would be a solemn day for a long time.

He had been scared at first. Your parents had withdrawn into themselves for a long time, avoiding all things that had been connected to you. As far as he knew, your old room still was as it had been left, kept clean by Toriel. He remembered seeing Asgore standing outside the door with his hand raised like he was going to knock.

For about two weeks everybody was looking over their shoulders, half expecting to see you come around a corner or through a door. Undyne had almost jumped out of her skin when she thought she had seen a human who looked like you. She had chased behind them until they turned to say something to their friend, showing a different face. She shook the rest of the day.

He had worried about Sans the most.

He had never been good with handling loss of any kind, prone to sudden violent mood swings. He picked fights with his friends and even with Papyrus, pushing them away when they tried to get close. More than once he had heard the muttered words of anger aimed at himself. Things like "This is why I shouldn't care" and "Happens every time". He had left the apartment that the two of you had shared, asking for help only when it came to going through your clothes and things. Papyrus and Mettaton had helped, though the singer had gone home in a snit after a very explosive argument over...

He couldn't remember anymore what the argument had been about. It was something small that the robot had done and, true to form, Sans had flown off the handle. Papyrus had tried to mediate the fight, trying to appease both sides before both stormed off, leaving the tall skeleton standing alone among the boxes.

They were doing better now, though Sans' moods were still a bit unstable. Papyrus had almost danced for joy the first time that his brother cracked an unintentional joke about a week after your passing, then felt guilt when he saw Sans cover his mouth and look down. He looked shocked and angry at himself, like he had said something horrible.

Papyrus sighed and looked up at the flowers, smiling to himself. They were all healing, slowly, but none of them expected it to be fast. He hoped that you were alright wherever you were, and slowly stood, his hand on the rough bark behind him. He gave the tree a fond pat and went inside, putting the notebook and pen back on the table.

Someday they would stop seeing you out of the corners of their eyes. Someday they would not hear your laugh in the sound of birdsong. Someday they would not imagine you dancing when it rained. Someday they would think of you without pain, and instead only with happiness.

Not today. But someday.

 **AN: Alright, I guess there was another. Now it is over. I hope that you enjoyed it. If you would like to suggest things to me, I would gladly write things for you. I hope you all have a wonderful day. 3**


	24. Bonus

The In-between

You were quiet, sitting in front of a mirror as you painstakingly painted a new face over your own. Your favorite fall holiday was upon you, and you only had two hours before you and Sans were supposed to meet everybody else.

You waved your hand in front of your face, fanning your makeup dry as you reached for the next color. You had a picture for reference, but you always worried that you were going to get something wrong. The stark white face stared back from the mirror as you unscrewed the jar and picked up your next brush. Grey was painted on in a wide swath on your cheek from the end of your chin up to just under your eye.

"SANS! OIII! I need help!"

The short skeleton wandered in as you were pulling out a large brush and jar, looking vaguely amused, as you drew in another breath to shout for him again.

"What's up, kid?"

You smile and shove the items into his hand and pull your hair up into a clip and turn your back to him.

"Get the back of my neck. You can see better than I can, and then I can finish that. Might need help with my costume too, when I get to it."

The short skeleton laughed when you jumped when the brush hit your neck, then laughed harder when you scolded him for not warning you that he was starting. Liquid makeup was cold, you said, and you didn't like sudden cold.

When it was finished, you thanked him and took back your supplies, telling him to be sure that he was ready to go soon. You wanted to get there a little early to help your friends set up, and make sure that your human friends and monster friends were all having an easy time getting everything started.

Sans watched you quickly paint the front of your neck before drawing thin black lines on the grey areas, then a few dots over a carefully redrawn eyebrow. He stood there for a bit, waiting for you to see he was still there, wondering if you would jump. You usually did when you were busy with something. You had a bit of tunnel vision when you got going on something, and it was him who usually reminded you that you had to eat and sleep.

Finally, you painted your upper lip pink and pulled a wig over your hair, giving yourself shorter dark hair that was carefully shaped instead of your usual longer unkempt arrangement. When you were adjusting it, he smiled when he saw your eyes finally fix on him through the mirror.

"You going to stand there, or get ready, bonehead?"

The skeleton shrugged and smiled, amused when you huffed and stood, pulling off the bathrobe that protected the tight-fitting shirt and pants you wore. At your mock glare, he turned on his heel and walked to the closet. His costume was in there, as were the other parts of yours. He never understood the point of dressing up like this, but it made you happy so...

Soon you were both completely changed and walking to the apartment Undyne shared with Alphys. You would ride with them from there, provided that they were ready, of course.

Sans caught you when you stumbled, unused to the high heels you wore.

"Told you that Mettaton was a bad idea. You are going to break your neck in those."

You smile and get your balance back, hanging onto the bony hand and taking a few careful steps. Maybe the shoes were a bit much, but you knew that the robot would love it.

"Worth it. The look on your brother's face is going to be priceless."

"Paps is gonna blow a-" he tapped the chest-plate you had made, indicating the light in it " _fuse_ when he sees it."

"Aw, boooo. That was bad."

You tugged the scarf he wore, grinning like a fool. You had decided on costumes this year, since Sans had done it last year and you did not want a repeat of skeleton and human. That was unimaginative and boring.

"By the way, you are the shortest version of Papyrus I have ever seen."

"And you are the shortest Mettaton. And clumsiest."

"I was not made for heels."

You both laugh, and are met outside by Alphys and Undyne. The first in a character costume of one of her shows, the second in her old armor. You all were smiling as you get in the car. Suddenly, you turned and looked at Sans, but something was wrong. Your makeup was gone, and you were thin and ragged. Your lips were an ugly purple and thin, your eyes sunken into their sockets...

"This was fun, Sans."

…...

Sans sat up in bed, gasping. He looked around, confused.

"Frisk? Kid?"

You were nowhere. He remembered suddenly that you would never be back, and for the first time in the week since you passed, he let the tears fall. He wished he had the power you once had...

He wished there was some way to bring you back...

 **Super-amazing surprise! Bonus chapter! This one is also in my other thing, The In-between. Please look at it if you like it.**


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